Priorities

As a young manager, I often told employees to “call me anytime. I want to make sure you understand that I am available to you.” At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do to make sure staff could connect with me. I realized the error of my ways when my husband was in a hospital room after having a kidney stone removed. One of the ED techs, we will call him Buddy, knocked on the door and asked if he could talk to me. I quietly stepped out of the room to hear Buddy say to me, “Bonnie can I have Christmas Day off? My wife and I just had our first baby and I want to be there for his first Christmas.” 

I could literally feel the hair stand up on my neck as I gathered my thoughts together to find a professional response. Through clenched teeth I finally spoke. “Please do not ever come to my husband’s hospital room to ask me about work issues.” With that Buddy mumbled an apology and walked down the hallway and I tried to gather my thoughts to return to my family.

So, why am I telling you that story from so many years ago? As leaders, we often get our priorities out of line without even realizing it. In fact, I just heard a wonderful leader say he had put his job before his family for years without even realizing the toll it was taking on his family. 

I would like you to consider this… why does the flight attendant for every airplane tell you to “put on your own oxygen mask first!” Have you noticed, they go so far as to walk down the aisle and say the same to each person with a young child? It is just THAT important to remember your priorities. Over the course of many years, I have finally listed out my priorities so I can always have the in the forefront of my mind. God, my health, my family, then my job. Placing my health above my family was intentional. I cannot care for them if I have not first taken care of myself.

Because I have done this ahead of time, it helps me to decide what to do first. Consider these real scenarios:

Do I take time away from my family on a weekend to finish that project due Monday morning; or do I spend time with family and get up early Monday morning to finish the project? 

Do I stay late for a last-minute meeting or do I go to my son’s soccer game? 

Do I stay up late at night to finish a few more evaluations or do I go to bed, so I have eight full hours of sleep? 

Do I go back to work not long after my parent died so I can complete budgets, or do I take time to grieve and get their affairs in order?  

I think you get the drift.  As leaders, you have the unique opportunity to “model the behavior you expect of your staff.” Please know that I am not encouraging you to call in for every ache or pain or malady. Nor am I discouraging completion of your work or preparation for work projects. However, we tell our staff “don’t come to work sick; take time for your family; the work will be here when you get back.” I would encourage each of you to align your priorities ahead of time so you too can be healthy and able to do the work you have been called to do. 

As always, please reach out if there is anything, I can do to help you in your leadership journey. 

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