What Should I Do

We often start our cover pages and other emails when we don’t know the recipient with the following phrase:

"To whom it may concern"

I thought of starting this message with that familiar salutation, then had second thoughts after seeing a LinkedIn post by a colleague Elaine Montilla.  

 "I am NOT a DEI practitioner
I am NOT a member of the HR team
I do NOT have children, and
I do NOT have to say anything at all

BUT

As a CIO, I am responsible for demonstrating care, compassion, and love to my staff. I also have the responsibility to create spaces where they feel safe speaking up and sharing anything. As leaders, we all have that responsibility, and staying silent does not make their pain go away.

Entering working hours doesn't remove the pain and anguish we feel from watching the news and learning that innocent lives were lost. You don't need to speak politics to show you care. Do it!”

These are her words verbatim…

Such profound words hit me straight in the forehead prompting me to reach out. I wanted MY COMMUNITY (not just some random “to whom it may concern” person) to hear it from me too.

We can say we are transformational leaders.

We can say we are servant leaders.

But…when incidences like the Uvalde, TX shooting (and the preceding one) occur, how do we respond…to our employees…to our own grief?

·       Do we close ourselves off or do our best to comfort our staff?

·       Do we suggest EAP?

·       Better yet…do we get EAP for ourselves?

·       How do we talk to our children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and neighbors about what is going on?

I don’t have the answers.

But I do have some suggestions / recommendations:

• Make it easy for staff to gather and talk

• If spiritual services is a part of your organization, use them

• Make EAP a regular topic of conversation

• Model the behavior you want to see in others. Share what you are feeling. Nothing shows transparency like seeing the humans of your leader. (And by the way, for those who say you shouldn’t show your feelings at work, according to scripture, even "Jesus wept!")

• Don’t be ashamed to scheduling a counseling session for yourself. Counseling is a gift not everyone has.

• And finally, talk to those “kids” in your life…or better yet…ask them what they are thinking and listen. Kids have feelings to.

This is not a call to schedule a strategy session with me.

This is just me encouraging you and encouraging me to be healthy leaders and to provide a healthy environment for our colleagues and staff.