Feeling Stuck?

It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy, it is what you think about.                                                           Dale Carnegie

Are you feeling stuck, out of energy, wondering what you were thinking when you took that leadership job and wishing this cold weather would take a hike? I know the feeling.

If you live in the southwest parts of the US, specifically Texas, you were probably impacted by the snow and ice storm of February 2021. It was accompanied by continuous or rolling power outages and days upon days of no water, then no hot water, or a boil water notice. The sun did not show up nearly that entire week. The next week wasn’t much better with over seven days of gloomy cloudy skies. Combine that with COVID 19 and working from home where your interactions are mostly with your family whom you interact with 24/7. During the storm and the rolling power outages, we did not even have intermittent interaction with other colleagues on Zoom. When the electricity did connect, the phones seemed to have a mind of their own and either would not dial out or would not accept calls. 

If it sounds like I am whining, I’m not. Ok, maybe I am a teeny tiny little bit. 

So why am I sharing the feelings that I experienced over those two weeks?

Many times we assume we are the only person going through an experience. As a leader, we often think:

• We are the only department with problematic employees.

• We are the only department that is struggling with meeting goals.

• We are the only leader that sometimes wants to throw in the towel.

• We are the only new leader that is 1-2 years into our role and wondering what we were thinking when we said “I do” to the first leadership job.

I’m here to tell you…you are not alone. There are many leaders who share the same feelings and concerns. As a staff nurse, we were trained to punch in, care for the patients we are assigned, and at the end of the day, we washed our hands and punched out, knowing patient care was a 24-hour job. We were confident having just handed our patients over to another very capable nurse. We took care of our patients, then we transferred them to another unit, or discharged them home or to a different level of care. 

Leadership feels like it has a continuous road that’s similar to doing laundry – it keeps coming back and is never-ending. 

• You never totally clean off your desk and “get everything done.”

• You feel like you must be a failure because you never finish your “to do” list.

• That “other” manager seems like she/he has their act together, comes in at a normal time, leaves at a normal time, and never seems like their “hair is on fire.”

Which leaves you thinking “what’s wrong with me?” 

That sure was my thought when the doom and gloom felt like it was descending on me like a curtain. And then I went to the same place I did as a new leader. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I shouldn’t have to take a break. 

Fortunately for me, I have a wonderful friend who is also a coach. She reminded me to give myself a break. What refreshing advice. To give me a break in the form of “acknowledge the feelings, name them, now decide what you will do with them.”

I would encourage each of you to do the same: 

• Acknowledge the feelings

• Name them

• Now the big one…decide what you will do with them.

Here are a few tried and true tactics that have worked for me:

• Phone a friend in the form of a mentor. I have had at least two amazing mentors in my career life: someone I can share my work problems with and who gives me clarity so I can see my way forward.

• Hire an executive coach. A coach helps help pull you out of that "mud" of everyday leadership and help you to set goals that will be a foundation to improving your skills. A coach is your trusted advisor; the person who partners with you in complete confidence to make measurable progress forward.

• And finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself. I shared with many of you earlier that I try to focus on my priorities: God, health, family, AND THEN work. Keeping your priorities in mind when you have deep into the “funk” of leadership grounds us back to what is important.

What do you use when you have that feeling of being stuck in the mire of leadership?